" here i am once again, im torn into pieces, can't deny it can't pretend, just thought you were the one, broken up deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears i cry "
everything can be fine one moment and 1 second later your whole life can change... everyday i wonder how i can change.. cause no matter what.. im just not good enough for ne 1... especially the ones who i thought cared...you really have to have balls to trust someone... and now i know.. its scary to realize that you can't even trust yourself... everything is just so hard...and i feel just like breaking down to cry... im not pretty, smart, rich, funny, exciting... im nothing... for ne body who reads this.. don't think im writting this for attention or pitty or whatever you want to believe...this site is the only place where i have ever spilled my thoughts... do you know how it feels to be surounded by so many ppl.. hey they might even be your best friend.. and know.. that you can't talk to ne of them... speaking from experience.. you tell some1 something private and in 5 minutes the whole school knows... they might not even care but they will always talk about it...i am seriously alone... and sadly it might be permenant...
im trying to be careful of what im saying because i do not want people thinking im suicidal or something.. well.. ...
im so fucking tired of everything...yea and thats what my meds are for...i fucking hate being manic depressive... its worse then pms...its just like being bipolar... only you have more control... but right now.. im losing all control.. im going fucking crazy and the one person i truly love walked away... talk about a great relationship... its all fighting.. no talking about it.. make up for 1 day.. next day.. fighting... i can't do this ne more..
Mike i love you with all my heart...theres no1 else that come b4 you... and thats the problem... we need to talk about somethings... i know you won't ever read this.. and i really don't care.. im sayiing how i feel.. this isn't to impress ne 1 or to make them feel bad... so if you do feel bad... fine.. not my problem.. i have enough... more then ne 1 would ever want to deal w/... people think i have it good.. that im being a spoiled brat when i say my life sucks... you don't know me at all